Living God’s dream for you
January 2021
Good morning!
Happy New Year Everyone!
My Pastor shared with us a few weeks back, that he saw a bumper sticker on a car that said:
Honk if you love Jesus,
Keep texting while driving,
if you want to meet Him real soon!
As Christians, we all want to meet Jesus in person one day, but maybe not because we were texting while driving!
Today I’d like us to think about a couple of big picture questions:
Question 1: Are we living the life God dreamed for us? If not, what are we going to do about it?
In the movie Chariots of Fire, Eric Liddel tells his sister Jenny, “when I run, I feel his pleasure”.
When do we feel God’s pleasure?
Do we consider ourselves to be joyful Christians?
Are we using our gifts and talents to honor Him?
Does the world know we are Christians by our love?
Is the world a better place because we are here?
Question 2: If God calls us home today, are we ready?
Is our relationship with God, where we want it to be?
Is our relationship with family, friends, the world, where we want it to be?
Is our soul in a state of grace?
I’d like to show you a few pictures to help us think about these questions.
Picture 1. So I’m the oldest of 6 children, 5 of us were born before I turned 6! The cute little guy at the end is my brother Timmy…. Unfortunately, he was killed in a car accident the day before his 18thbirthday….Jesus called him home that day.
Picture 2. These are 67 colleagues I worked with in the World Trade Center at KBW. They were all killed on 9/11. Jesus called them home that day.
I was on the 88thfloor that day, but fortunately escaped.
Jesus chose not to call me home that day.
Picture 3. These are my 5 children at a family wedding. My youngest child, Nicholas, was born 3 years after 9/11. He wouldn’t be here today, if Jesus had called me home that day.
As a side note, I always said I wanted to live to be 100. After Nicholas was born when I was age 50, I said, now I have to live to be 100! But of course, it’s not totally up to me!
Picture 4. This was a family car my son Teddy was driving. He had been working on a car wash at church on a very hot day, to raise money for a mission trip. He was feeling light headed while driving home. A squirrel darted across the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the squirrel, and hit a small boulder. As you can see, the car flipped on its head! Amazingly, Teddy crawled out of that car and survived the accident.
Jesus chose not to call him home that day.
Picture 5. An hour after the accident, he attended his own Eagle Scout ceremony! Praise God, today he is a senior in college and thriving.
So none of us knows the day, or the hour, when we will be called home to meet Jesus in person. Are we ready? Are we prepared?
One winter about 6 years ago, my family got to go to St. Thomas in the Virgin Islands for a vacation.
We had “won” the vacation in a silent auction, during a charity dinner. One day I was out swimming in the ocean. I noticed the name on the back of very small boat, Someday Came!
I got very excited at the cleverness of that name. Many of us say to ourselves, Someday I’m going to do X! For this person in St. Thomas, they said to themselves, Someday I’m going to own a small boat and anchor it in the ocean in St. Thomas.
Someday came!
Hopefully when we get to heaven one day, and meet Jesus face to face, He will say, “Good job, good and faithful servant!” And we will say, “Someday Came”!
But what about while we are here, living on earth? What are the dreams God has placed on our hearts? What are the talents and treasure we enjoy, that God wants us to use to honor Him, to feel his pleasure!
For Christmas I got a book called The Wealthy Gardener, Lessons on Prosperity between Father and Son.
One of the sub-chapters is called Procrastination.
The author defines procrastination as:
“the postponing of an action or decision to someday!!!
He explains that a procrastinator, never steps into the action phase of dreams!
Are we delaying an action or decision? Are we procrastinating? Will someday ever come for us? What are we waiting for?
The author then quotes an old English nursery rhyme:
A man of words and not of deeds, is like a garden full of weeds.
Are we talking the talk, but not walking the walk? Is our life full of weeds, we need to get rid of? What are we waiting for? Personally, I’m very conscious that time is running out! I may live to be 100, but then again, this could be my last day!
In a solicitation letter I received recently from John Piper, he said that “there is a divine purpose for every moment in life” – kind of an intimidating but very powerful thought!
The Wealthy Gardener goes on to explain: Few of us can accept the pain of saying no to our dreams, so we cleverly deceive ourselves, with the thought of going for it, someday!
Someday is an excuse, to avoid the immediate discomfort, and anxiety of change.
Someday, leads to passive inaction, so the regrets of abandoning our dreams, are not immediate.
Are we deceiving ourselves? Are we making excuses?
This book, The Wealthy Gardener, is not a religious book, but he goes on to quote Pope Paul Vl:
“Someday should tell us, right at the start of our lives, that we are dying. Then, we might live life to the limit, every minute of every day. Do it! I say. Whatever you want to do, do it now! There are only so many tomorrows.”
The author closes the chapter with a life lesson on Procrastination:
I saw that dreams, don’t respond to thoughts, of someday, but only to brave actions, and turbulent transitions!
So what brave actions, are we going to take this New Year? What turbulent transitions, are we going to challenge ourselves with in 2021? What weeds, do we need to get rid of in 2021? And what practices are working for us, that we want to keep going in 2021?
I’d like to briefly reflect on ways I’m trying to walk the walk, and not just talk the talk! I want to be ready to meet Jesus in person one day, and I want to live the life God dreams for me.
Quiet time, especially first thing in the morning, has been huge for me! I love entering the classroom of silence! I read the scriptures of the day, and a reflection on them. I underline key phrases. I write out a few ideas, and sometimes make a to do list. I try to listen to God’s messages and dreams for me. I think about others and their needs, and how I might touch their life. I get down on my knees, and I pray for my family, for our world, for my work, and for my day.
Sometimes I write a letter to someone. For my wife and children’s birthdays, I make it a practice to write them a letter of affirmation. I think about family and friends, far and near. Who should I reach out to today? Who has God placed on my heart today? Often this time is the best part of my day! I revel, in the classroom of silence!
My mom passed away a year ago, and I have a few boxes at home from her house that I’m still going through. Recently I found a letter I wrote to her, and read to her, at her 80thbirthday party. I thought I would read it because it gives you some good insights into my life, and may inspire you to write letters, or reach out to people God has put on your heart.
May 7, 2011
Dear Mom,
Happy 80thBirthday!!! We are all so thrilled to be with you today, to celebrate your 80thbirthday. You are very important to us, and we love you!
I have this Family Circus cartoon, which shows a lady asking a young mom with four young children, “How do you divide your love among four children?” The answer from the young mom is “I don’t divide it. I multiply it.” That’s what you did for us mom, you multiplied your love, so that all six of us could have a warm and personal relationship with you, and so that you would be an important person for us to turn to, whenever we needed some comfort, some courage, some love.
I remember when I was getting my wisdom teeth out, and it was the first time I was going to be put to sleep, and you were there in the hospital, unwavering in your courage and optimism, that everything would work out fine. Thank you for that.
I remember camping at the Connecticut shore, and there was just the two of us listening to The Shadow stories on the radio, and having relaxing talks about our family, and about life. Thank you for that.
I remember the week after Tim’s death, and feeling lost and afraid, and not sure what to do next, and how you encouraged me to go back to work in New York, and to move on with my life. Thank you for that.
I remember the countless hours you spent driving us, and being with us at judo and bagpipes and baseball and basketball games, and how you and Dad cheered us on, to do our best. Thank you for that.
I remember the holidays as a kid, and how you and Dad made them so special for us. I remember the joy and wonder of Christmas. The house was always decorated so beautifully, that we knew Christmas to be a festive celebration, that was meant to be anticipated, and treasured. From Santa Claus on the door, to the Christmas lights outside, to the frosted white pictures on the windows, and the candles in the windows, to the beautiful Christmas tree, and the thousands of presents under it, to the manger display, and the anticipation of baby Jesus being there Christmas morning, and to all of us dressing up, and going to mass together…. Christmas was magical as a kid! Thank you for that!
And thank you most for being my mom, and for all the sacrifices you made, so that I could have a better life, and to grow up to be a happy, productive, faith-filled person. You and Dad certainly showed me what it meant to be dedicated parents, who did their best each day, to help their family grow and prosper. You also showed us how prayer, and keeping God at the center of our life, could make all the difference.
Mom, you have been a great role model for me, especially in showing me what it meant to be dedicated to your spouse, in sickness and in health. You were such an amazing rock in Dad’s life. From the moment he discovered he had cancer, until he left this world for heaven, you stood by him day and night for 20 years. There was never any doubt, about where you priorities and commitments lie, and never any question of how you gave so much of yourself, so that Dad could have a reasonable life, through all his suffering and health challenges. He lived all those extra years, because of his faith, his fighting nature, his health disciplines regarding nutrition, exercise and vitamins, and because of the strong love and support of his family, especially you. Thank you for taking care of my Dad, and for showing me what is really important in life. In one of my letters to my friend Wally, who is fighting pancreatic cancer, I explained to him how important it is to stay on top of the doctors and nurses, and to take notes, and question each step along the way. I told him how Dad did this, and how you were a huge help in this regard. And I said to him “Thankfully, my mom, is a very outspoken woman, and isn’t afraid to say anything to anyone!”
Finally mom, thank you for your wonderful smile, your laughter, your love of people, your gift of gab, for your eternal courage and optimism, and for your great pride and love, of being an O’Brien. God bless you mom! God blessed me, by having you as my mom. I love you very much, and look forward to celebrating your 100thbirthday!
Love, Michael
So letters can be powerful, and sitting in the quiet of my living room, I often feel the Holy Spirit speaking to me, showing me the dreams God has for my life. Regular Quiet time, has changed my life.
I also thrive on family and community. Covid has made that harder, but Zoom has come to the rescue! I’ve been doing 4 men’s meetings each week during Covid. It’s been phenomenal to plug into different speakers, from all over the country, share with different men via Zoom, and listen to the Holy Spirit speak to me through others.
By sharing our faith, our walk with God, our challenges, our joys and blessings, we grow stronger, and closer to Jesus, and to each other.
At meal times, we pray as a family, and try to share something about our day. On Sundays we go to mass, or watch it on Zoom, and have a nice relaxing brunch together.
I consider being a husband and father, as my two most important roles. Family is a great gift, but also a great challenge. There are times when I feel completely helpless. There are times when I’m called to show unconditional love to someone, who is doing their best to be unlovable! I’m still reading parenting books! Sometimes I don’t trust God enough to lead them, where they are meant to go. Sometimes I try to do too much myself. Sometimes I’m too judgmental or anxious. I think of the verse from Proverbs: Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. I’m still working on that! I have come to learn to ask God to carry them each day.
I developed a prayer that I say daily on my knees:
Dear Jesus,
Carry us this day,
keep the devil far far away from us,
help us to know you, love you and serve you,
put people in our life that will bring us close to you,
keep us healthy of mind, body and spirit,
and help us to become saints.…
Dear Jesus bless this day and my role in it,
Help me to be the husband you want me to be,
The father you want me to be,
The son and brother and friend you want me to be.
Bless my work this day. Help me to make wise decisions. Help me to share your love. Amen.
Finally, I try to walk the walk, by making a difference in the lives of others. This includes extended family, friends and the poor and less fortunate.
After college while working on Wall Street, I counseled runaway kids in Times Square one night a week. That experience gave me a heart for inner-city children.
Eleven years ago, my wife and I started providing scholarships, for children to attend, the inner-city Catholic schools, in Newark, Jersey City, and elsewhere. These schools are safe and beautiful, and teach kids that they are children of God, loved unconditionally, and have a heavenly father, who watches over them, and cares for them, even if some of them don’t have an earthly father. They are encouraged to go out, and make a difference in the world, to thrive, using the gifts God has given them. We started with a kindergartener when our Nicholas was the same age. That boy, Jeremiah Johnson, is now a sophomore at Hudson Catholic. He’s been to our house with his mom a few times, for barbecues and a Christmas gathering.
One of the dreams God has placed on my heart, is to spend more time, trying to mentor and inspire these kids. I’ve been frustrated by my lack of effort in this regard. Maybe this year I can do better.
My wife and I also volunteer, along with others from my church, in the classrooms of St. Benedict’s in Newark.
Here’s another Picture: I taught a Junior Achievement course on Entrepreneurship to the 8thgraders. They did amazing well! In teams, they learned how to develop a product idea, put together a business plan, and give a presentation to the class. It was quite impressive to see them in action, and hopefully opened their eyes to what is possible for them in life. Maybe some of them will go on to create a great business one day! Here’s two more Pictures of them, giving presentations to the class!
Here’s another Picture of the kindergarteners. This was a course my wife and I taught together. I think showing up in person, and not just writing a check, speaks volumes to these kids.
So reaching out to others, helps me to see how blessed I am, and how giving of self, is the only way to pure joy, and a closer relationship with Jesus.
In terms of other dreams God has placed on my heart, I’ve always been a seeker of wisdom, and I’ve always talked about writing and teaching. A year ago, I realized that I love to be inspired, and to inspire others.
So I decided I wanted to start a blog, as a way of sharing some of that wisdom I seek, with family, friends and others. My daughter-in-law Sarah had started one, and I asked her to show me her website.
Well, the Pandemic got in the way, procrastination got in the way, a very difficult work year got in the way. My blog became my Someday goal, rather than my Today goal. I’m happy to say that with the help of my son Teddy, I’m in the process of launching my blog site! I wrote the introduction a year ago and
I’d like to read it to you. I think it fits with what we do here every week, and I hope it will inspire you to pursue the dreams God has for you. So here goes:
My goal is to share some of the inspiration and wisdom that comes into my life, and to be inspired by the sharing you do in return.
We all have stories to tell, and we all have different experiences, encounter different people, read different things, listen to different music, walk different paths, interpret different God moments, and face different challenges.
I believe God put people in our life, as stepping stones, to help us grow closer to Him, and as pearls of wisdom and inspiration, to help us know ourselves better, and navigate our personal journey. We all make choices each day. Are they the best choices? What are our goals? How do we know we are on the right path? Are we happy? Are we at peace? Are we in love with the world we live? Are we in love with the God who created us? Do we feel loved? Do we feel blessed? Are we a blessing to others? Are we freely giving of ourselves to others? Are we grateful for what we have? Do we hear God’s calling in our life? Are we doing God’s will? Are we listening? Did the Holy Spirit speak to us today? Did we share it with others? Did we act on it? Do we get up in the morning excited to start a new day? Do we go to bed at night peacefully knowing we did our best today? Did we make a difference today? Do we matter? How would life be different if we weren’t here? Who am I? Why am I here?
My plan is to share personal stories and insights that may resonate with you, or at least get you to think deeper about your own life and relationships. Through my writing, I hope to dig deeper myself, and be more thoughtful and reflective, about what’s important to me, where I see beauty and opportunity in the world, where my heart is most easily touched and changed, and what it all means for how we should think about living our life each day.
This may inspire you to think more deeply, act more intentionally, pray more fervently, and to celebrate life, your relationships and experiences, more fully.
Together, may we inspire each other, to be the best version of ourselves, to use wisely the gifts we have been given, to start and end the day with gratitude, and to help make the world around us, a happier, more peaceful, and meaningful place.
Let the journey begin!
Michael T. O’Brien
Child of God, husband, father, brother, son, grandfather, friend
So I’m hoping this will be a step forward for me, to live the dreams God has for me, to touch the lives of others, and to be prepared for the day, when I will meet Jesus in person. I’m hoping my family and friends will read it, and be inspired!
In closing I’d like to read a short poem my brother Danny wrote years ago, that I found in that same box I got from my mom’s house:
Why was I put on this earth?
Oh God won’t you tell me why.
The reason for my living
The reason I must die
If I am here to live your word
And spread your will throughout
Then help me Lord, and give me strength
To show what I’m all about
What’s Gods dream for you in 2021? And what are you going to do about it?
Someday Came 